I watched ITV’s two part “Walk Away And I Stumble” last night and the night before. Perhaps not the best of dramas (though not bad), but I found it thought-provoking. Got me thinking about what I’d do if I only had a few months left.

I came up with quite a long to do list – sure, there was all the usual stuff, travelling, seeing the world, visiting old friends, spending time with loved ones, parties, chilling on a nice beach somewhere etc – but I realised there are actually only two things I really *really* want to achieve in my life (recording an album and getting my guitar design mass-produced, both of which I suspect come from a desire to ‘leave something behind’ – I wonder whether that’s something most people feel? Or maybe most people just have kids… ;-)

Anyway, thing is, neither of these are things I’m doing anything about. Which got me thinking more – should I be re-evaluating my life, give up the day job, dig into my savings and focus completely on getting on with those two things? Would be lovely to, but there’s always the problem of paying the mortgage and earning a living once my little indulgence is over and it’s back to reality, with my business gone to ground, my clients lost and my savings spent… I guess it’s fear of the future, fear of blowing whatever we’ve already achieved, that stops many of us achieving our dreams. Whereas if you’ve only got a short time left, I suppose money ceases to be an issue – you’d happily spend it on achieving your dreams before you go. Well, I would, anyway.

I found it amazingly liberating, imagining myself in that situation (yes, I know, it sounds morbid, but it was actually quite life-affirming, I thought – I strongly recommend it). So now the callenge is how to carry on that feeling without actually having to acquire a terminal illness…

Ah, the joys of contemplating one’s own mortality! Musings over. Back to work…